Helping our kids now that school is back

Following last week's blog (tips for time poor parents), we thought we might check in with all the children who have returned to school and have now been back for a few weeks. We reached out to our Psychologist Alicia to provide us with some tips to help our emotionally and physically drained kids.

As adults we want to tick things off our list as quickly as possible, but we also have the luxury of being able to do little things throughout the day that help us to manage - drive an extra block, a break for a cup of tea, chat to a friend, or 10 minutes zoning out on our phones. Kids don't get to do this during the school day and often their first chance to switch off and let go is when they see you and get picked up from school. It is really natural that kids will vent their emotions from the day to their parents/carers. This can look like big emotions, and also like tiredness and zoning out/switching off.

Here are 5 tips for helping settle emotionally drained children, after their first few weeks at school.

* Have routines for morning and afternoon and stick to them. Kids (and adults!) cope better when they know what to expect. If a change is coming, let them know and offer them an age appropriate choice to help them feel some control: "I might work late on Tuesday, what game should you take with you to Grandma's?"

* Where you can after school, give them 20-30 minutes of space when they get home to reset, ideally on an activity that isn't mentally draining or overly stimulating. Activities like bike riding, walking, colouring, crafts, Lego, cooking, and music are great ways to unwind and regulate the system. If you can, do this activity with them and let them bring up what to talk about, you might find that they start to talk about their day just having you nearby.

* Now that a lot more activities have started back up, including face to face learning, if you notice your kids are having a hard time with routines and appointments try a "scheduling party". Make it an event with fun food and the whole family and plan out the weeks' activities together. Have a calendar on the wall or fridge that you make together to help them (and you) remember what's on.

* To build their emotional intelligence, say what you see - e.g., "you're frowning today, you seem frustrated". By saying out loud what you notice, you will help them to understand what emotions they're feeling and that those emotions are totally normal, even if they're uncomfortable to have.

* Make a weekly date with your kids for one on one time, even if it's taking one to do the grocery shopping and walking the dog with the other. Kids know your time is valuable, and spending it with them makes them feel valued.

If you are finding that your child's settling back into school is different to previous years, or if they are really struggling with their first year at school, check in with your GP. Your child may need some additional support while they transition into school.