Self-Compassion
“Be gentle first with yourself if you wish to be gentle with others.” ~Lama Yeshe
A few week ago, as a team we sat in a small group being led by one of our wonderful psychologist Ailsa Graham a pioneer in the field of self-compassion and mindfulness knowledge and research.
She directed us to engage in a mindfulness exercise for 5 minutes.
Following her instructions, I closed my eyes while I sat outside with the sun shining and a cool breeze blowing at a beautiful café.
Although I did not understand mindfulness to its full potential, I could feel my heart open wide to the fresh compassion which arose around me. I felt relaxed and relieved towards myself.
After the exercise, it was revealed finding the time for self-compassion and mindfulness is an extremely important activity to engage in to feel compassion toward yourself and those around you.
Just about everyone in our small group—including me— found it difficult to engage in the activity for 5 minutes, which I find interesting, as it concludes we don’t spend enough time being compassionate towards ourselves.
For me personally, I can feel compassion for others, feel kindness toward them, empathy, and a desire to help reduce their emotions. So why should I find being self-compassionate towards myself be any different?? We seem to put our own feelings and emotions to the back burner and we often forget about them until it’s too late. Self-compassion creates a caring space within you that is free of judgment—a place that sees your hurt and your failures and softens to allow those experiences with kindness and caring.
So, tell me Why? Why are we unable to create opportunities for self-compassion?
Some research shows the Mythical beliefs about Self-Compassion, the deficiency in self-compassion is likely brought about by these four fictitious thoughts:
1. I’m just indulging myself if I’m self-compassionate
2. I won’t be motivated if I don’t criticize myself
3. It’s selfish for me to be compassionate towards myself
4. Self-compassion is for those who are weak
Engaging in a professional development on self-compassion and mindfulness opened the door for conversations and experiences that have allowed myself to effectively engage in self compassion activities:
Gardening with my family
Being in the moment with my family at mealtimes
Listening to mindfulness music
Finding time for myself
I now choose self-compassion in my life, especially to be mindful and present for my beautiful family and friends.
Will you?
Hayley Smith