What we learnt: 5 tips for raising resilient, self-reliant kids

We have included the link to this Ted Talk in our newsletter, but we wanted to explore it more, because the tips that Tameka Montgomery provided really got us thinking!! It got us thinking about how we curate a perfect life for our kids, but that means that often they become afraid of taking risks because of their fear of failure, they lack confidence in their ability to figure things out and the become afraid of launching into adulthood.

Let us give you a summary of the the 5 tips she provided us: 

  1. Don’t give them an allowance

  2. Make them pay for their wants

  3. Reduce prosperity

  4. Let them be delight directed

  5. Let them solve their own problems. 

It wasn’t just the fundamental tips that got us thinking, but it was the reasoning behind each tip that really made us think about how we all approach parenting, how our own upbringing, financial situation, and values play a part in how we raise our own children. 

  1. Don’t give them an allowance - her reasoning behind this was to challenge them to earn their own spending money. To encourage them to take on an entrepreneurial mindset. To learn the value of money, how it is acquired and how it is spent. 

  2. Make them pay for their wants - this encourages them to take on personal responsibility and ownership. To weigh up how badly they want that thing.

  3. Reduce prosperity - lets face it, our kids today have a lot of stuff. Her thinking is that if we choose a parenting style of indulging, if our kids never want for anything, what is going to motivate them to take action. To stay hungry as Steve Jobs puts it, when they are adults in the real world? 

  4. Let them be delight directed - We really like this point. To encourage our kids to seek out learning for the things they are most interested in. Which in turn means they become learners who seek to learn, to do! 

  5. Let them solve their own problems - It is natural for us as parents to step in all the time and solve their problems, but when we do that we quelch the potential they have to discover new things about themselves and their capabilities. It quelches the ability for them to go out and find the answers for themselves. 

Really interesting stuff hey! What are your thoughts on this? Do you agree or disagree? We would love to hear what you think!! 

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