Motherhood
Hello future mothers and those who have already trod this path. I’m thrilled to be asked to be a guest blogger for Macquarie Health Collective and thank Liz for the opportunity. It’s my first blog ever!
Let me introduce myself; I’m a regional mum of 4 amazing humans and I currently work in my own private practice Mumma Be, as an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) and Matresence coach; this isn’t a real qualification but more of a way of describing what I do in combining my experience as a Registered Nurse and Midwife, a child and family health nurse and mum of 4...real life experience makes all of the text books come to life in a way I could never have imagined.
I have been working in the field of Matresence for nearly 15 years and so when asked to write a blog I could have written volumes but instead thought I’d share with you some key insights that I hope will help you feel seen on your journey through this potentially mind-blowing time.
Firstly, what is Matresence? Those physical, psychological and emotional changes you go through after the birth of your child now have a name. The transition to motherhood is fraught with change much like the transition from child to adult is called adolescence. After adolescence we don’t ever revert to being a child and likewise women who have carried a baby will forever be a mother and this journey is different for every woman and should be treated with great respect and kindness.
It takes a village to raise a child…but it doesn’t have to be a big village. If someone offers you a baked dinner or calls and asks if you would like bread and milk delivered, please say yes if you feel you would like to, they may not offer again if you turn them down. Embrace the wise grandmothers within your village; trust me, to them it feels like yesterday they too were neck deep in Matresence. They get it and want nothing more than to pass on the kindness they received.
Your mother in law cares deeply, although her comments feel like judgement. I’m not sure why so many of us receive our mother in laws offer of advice so sensitively but trust me when I tell you its incredibly common. Please remember that she too is probably feeling nervous about this new dynamic and her place within the family now her daughter in law is a mother too. Tread softly and give yourself grace as you too navigate this change in dynamic. (Coming from a hopeful mother in law to be x4). PS. I have a wonderful mother in law, thank you Sue xx
Take all advice and use the bits that align with your values. As families we all have differing values and once we really drill down on what it is we hold in high regard we can then make clearer decisions about how we parent our children. One way I find useful is asking myself, what would I want my kids answer to be when asked “what was your mum like?” I’m aiming for kind, fun, fair and available. How about you?
Trust your gut instinct. Mothers’ instinct is usually always right. Follow it up until you feel satisfied. Like. A. dog. With. A. bone. Don’t stop until you find the solution you are happy with. No one knows your baby like you do.
Be kind to yourself. There is no such thing as a perfect parent unfortunately, otherwise all of the striving we do would have a common goal. If only hey?
Seek Joy. In everything, including your GP. Find great professionals who you can really talk to about your goals. GP’s, psychologists, personal trainers, lactation consultants, hairdressers, beauticians – they are all different and once you find a great one who truly cares that you have your goals met – stick like glue. Once you have a little baby/ies your time for you is reduced so use it consciously. When it comes to health professionals be really careful that those giving advice regarding your baby and yourself have actual qualifications to do so. Generally gained at uni when it comes to health and wellbeing is a great place to start. ‘Sleep consultant’ is not an actual qualification in Australia believe it or not.
Wear comfy undies, no one has time for a wedgie ruining your day.
Make a cup of tea before you go to bed in a thermos. At 3am you will thank yourself for doing so when you take the first sip of delicious warm tea.
Play music often. Popping on your favourite playlist can lift your mood and babies love to have a boogie.
Drink the coffee. Eat the chocolate.
Hug your partner at least once a day.
I hope you all saw the image we shared on the Macquarie Health Collective socials yesterday. I couldn’t say it better myself. I’m always honoured to be asked to share a part of a woman’s journey through matresence, but first I have to be asked.
Much love,
Caroline Maxwell.
IBCLC, CFHN, RN, RM. Mum.