So you're pregnant

We sat down with the wonderful Tahlia from Wolfe and Cub for International Midwives day to get some advice from her on how to navigate the crazy world of pregnancy. We could have talked to her for hours! 

So you’re pregnant - now what?

We are told by society to NOT tell our people about our pregnancy while we are in the early stages. But by not telling our people, we feel isolated, alone and we struggle with the complex nature of early pregnancy. 

So why can’t we talk about pregnancy in the early stages? 

Are we fearful of miscarriage and the conversations with our people? Of sharing our pregnancy news and upsetting our friends and family that we know are struggling with fertility? Are we worried that by telling people we may jinx our pregnancy? 

Because in all of these situations, ‘our people’ are exactly the people we need around us. Early pregnancy is tough. You can experience nausea, vomiting, fatigue, anxiety, mental health, hormones and physical body changes internally and externally. Many of us go through periods where we have dark thoughts! And this is all perfectly normal!! 

So Tahlia’s message to us is this - find your people! Talk to your people! Share your joys and struggles with them no matter the stage of pregnancy. Tell them how they can support you. 

Pregnancy road map!

You have done the tests, you have your ‘people’, the next step is finding your care provider. Book your initial appointment with your GP. This will help you to become educated on what the next steps are. Your GP will help you to map out what ultrasounds and blood tests to have. Forming a relationship with a provider helps you feel supported and educated going forward. 

If you have a trusted provider - whether it is a GP, midwife, Wolfe and cub ;) - it provides you with someone to talk to that can help calm anxieties, help with mental health and to be some one that you can check in with. This person can help you understand your physical changes and help you make sense of all those hormones. Because there will be many of those and that's okay!!

Approaching the End Game

Your appointments are going to be coming closer together. Your baby is moving around and you, well you are feeling really pregnant!! You are probably ready - really ready - to meet your little person. 

There are lots of terms thrown around that talk about approaching labour. Tahlia likes referring to them as ‘birth wishes’  which come with education. Through education and educated advice, you feel empowered to make decisions that are best for you, that allow you to advocate for yourself and your baby. Birth wishes might look like having your birth support person or birthing partner, having aromatherapy, using the bath, listening to music, etc. 

Creating your ‘birth wishes’ allows movement and can accommodate changes so that you can take another course when things don’t go to plan. Because let’s face it, most plans tend to turn to ****. If your plan doesn’t go to plan, mothers can often feel like a failure, but the most important aspect of labour is that you and your baby have been nurtured and cared for and provided with the best care possible. Because honestly, all birth is heroic - in any form!

Tahlia’s advice for us.. Invest in education that helps you understand that all things are normal and to trust your providers. This will ensure you feel empowered and can advocate for yourself.